Mistletoe

Ok, well now its time to share part of one of my short stories. I'm only sharing the first part since its the only part I feel comfortable with sharing so far. If anyone sees this, and asks for the rest, I'll post it. Also, give me some feedback on how to improve this story. Haven't worked on it in a long time, but I'd really like to start up on it again and finish it!!!

Mistletoe

            “I love you”, the words escaped my lips before I know what I was saying. The only proof of my words existence was a momentary white vapor that fell off my lips into the frigged winter air, and then even that faded away. I expected a scream, maybe a laugh, or even just a look. Katie did nothing though, just continued on skating around the lake like she didn’t hear my words. She spun, she danced, and she made love with the ice as she skated across it as always. I thought that she probably didn’t hear me, so I said again, “I love you.”

            “I heard you the first time,” though she wasn’t looking at me when she said that, just setting up her next jump. She landed it on one leg and gracefully began carving her dog name, Rocky,  into the ice in simple weaving manner.

            “Alright”, I didn’t mean to raise my voice but she was ignoring me at what was to me a semi important moment, “do you want to say anything then?” I was just sitting at the bank of the lake in my snow boots since I twisted my ankle the other day and figured skating on it would be a dumb move, even for me.

            “Not in particular.” When she said those words, I remember just telling my body ‘alright just die right now, no pain please, just die, die, die’. I looked out on her on the ice and wondered if that’s all there was to it, that she knew I felt this way all along and just wanted to simply ignore it and hope I never brought it up. She just kept on skating in her nylon pants and sweater like we were talking about what movie to see or about how many times Mr. Peters, our math professor, said ‘Yeah that’s great’ today.

            I looked down and yelled “Why the hell not!”

            She skated over towards me, stopped for a second and said, “Well, I just don’t know what it means.” As soon as I looked up, she was off again spinning on one heel.

            “What do you mean you don’t know what it means?” I could only think at the time that she was trying to come up with a bullshit answer to avoid my confession or something along those lines.

            “It’s that simple. I don’t know what it means, or means to you at the very least. People throw the word ‘love’ around so much, but most have no idea what it means. We are just taught from movies and fairytales that you say you love someone, and you live happily ever after. That’s not how it works though. Love is different with each couple, you know? Some peoples love is bonded between their children, their work, their bodies, and sometimes convenience. Each one is love, but just a different type. So tell me, what love do you have for me?”

            I never had thought of love in that way; all I ever really knew was that I loved Katie. If I had to put my finger on a moment in time that I realized I loved her, the realization seemed to dawn on me only a few days before my little confession. The two of us were at my house for a small Christmas party that she has been coming to for the last ten years. It was a pretty normal occurrence at this point, and my family was always happy to have Katie over. She had a blue ruffle dress on, which she normally would never wear so clearly her mother forced her to, and was obviously was dragged to the hair solon since it was wavy and shimmering. We both watched some Christmas movie specials together as usual and grabbed a bottle of apple cider and brought it to the roof, pretending it was really champagne. After we climbed back through my window, I grabbed Katie’s arms and said, “Wait”, pointed up at some mistletoe I had set up there just for this moment. She looked at me and tilted her head, almost as if she didn’t recognize me or was trying to see me in a different way. She just stayed there staring at me so I figured it was alright for me to try and kiss her. As I moved in to kiss her cheek, Katie grabbed my face and pushed her lips against mine. Our eyes were still open, and she had those dominating and even agitated eyes that she only shows me; they faded though and her eyes closed as she moved her hands from my face to my neck. I grabbed onto her neck and waist and felt her move against me till we heard someone coming up the stairs. Katie jumped away, and it was my mom calling us down for dinner. Katie smiled at her and ran down the stairs to the table. Right after dinner Katie said she had to go home, so we never had any to talk about what happened till now.

            “Well the other night I figured, I guess I thought it meant something more than just a simple mistletoe kiss.” Katie was at the far end of the lake, so I had to yell for her to hear me. After my words had reached her she turned around and was speeding right towards me. I figured she was just pissed or who knows what, and was in a hurry to chew me out for what I said. She didn’t stop though; she jumped off the ice and tackled me into the snow. She might be a girl, but she was skating fast, and I was just standing there, so she knocked the air clean out of my lungs. When I brought my head up, Katie was mounting my stomach. I tried to get up, but she pushed both my shoulders back down into the snow bank and leaned her hands on them, so I was stuck there beneath her trying to catch my breath.

            “Is this what you want?” Her eyes were sharp and prodding, and I actually felt a bit scared of her. Katie took her sweatshirt off and threw it on the ground right next to me. All that was left on her now were a pair of skates, some tight nylon pants, and a bra. “If you want my body, I’ll give it to you. I have always been attracted to you physically, so I wouldn’t mind that, if that’s what you want.”

            “No. Well yes, but no.”

            “Which is it?”

At a time like this I thought I would be shaking or lost for words, afraid of embarrassing myself or just losing a friend possibly. The words though, they just poured out of my mouth as if some ancient ancestor of mine, who might have been a real man, had taken over. “I want it all! I want your figure skating body, your prickly heart, your straight A’s brain, your tomboy attitude, your cold hands, and your love. I don’t want one, I want them all, and everything else you could ever offer.” I threw Katie over onto her sweatshirt and was the one holding her down now. Her blond hair was spread across the snow as if they were fingers looking for something to grab. “I want you to be my woman and no one else’s. I don’t care if other people look at you, but at the end of the day I want to be the person who is closest to you. I want to hold you against me and I want to fall asleep with you every night.” I felt the air rush back into my lungs but still felt breathless. ‘Whose words are these?’ I wondered. I knew I felt this way but could I really be saying them?

            “Boy Robby, I never knew you were so greedy.” Katie’s eyes were as sharp as normal but they had a glimmer I didn’t recognize. That smirk made me wonder if she was happy with what I said or merely amused at what she was hearing.

            “Yeah, I’m greedy when it comes to you. I don’t want anyone else to have you but me.” All the courage I felt before had nearly left me at this point, and I felt my legs getting ready to run me off into the woods and keep running for hours till I was lost.

            “Well, I can’t say I’ll never have anyone else other then you, but at the moment, the only person I want is you. I love you, you dipshit”, Kaite started to blush and turned her head away when she said that. She peaked back over to me as I stared and said, “Stop staring at me you bastard! God, it’s embarrassing to get stared at if you didn’t know.”

            “Since when?”

            “Since when what?” Katie was staring at her right hand which I was holding down against the snow. I loved seeing her weak for once rather than always being the girl that could beat almost every guy in any sport.

            “Since when did you love me?”

            “God, I have loved you since I have known your stupid ass, so about fifteen years.” Her green eyes that usually look bold and vibrant looked like they were trembling and watery.

            “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

            “Because you are the guy here not me, remember? Also, I did ask you out once before if you already forgot you ass!” Katie’s smirk faded and I remembered the moment she was talking about right away.

            Most eighth grade boys are pretty oblivious to what girls want or are thinking, but I always felt like a had a pretty good idea of what Katie was thinking. Katie and I were sitting on my porch, taking off our biking helmets after a day of mountain bike racing. Out of the five races I won one, and it was only because the chain in Katie’s bike jammed. Katie was taking her right kneepad off when she said, “So Robby, who are you going to ask to go to the eighth grade dance?” I looked over at her and saw she was simply staring down at her feet and fixing her shoes. I felt like she wanted me to ask her out. I was almost certain of it even. The only problem was the small piece of doubt that was telling me, “Someone probably asked her out already and so she is just wondering who you asked out now. She is just making conversation, not telling you to ask her out.” That small amount of doubt made me worry if I might freak Katie out by asking her out and possibly lose her as a friend by doing so. I couldn’t lose Katie as a friend, she was the person I thought of every day and talked to on the phone till one of us passed out almost every night.
            So I said, “Me? I’m not going to a stupid eighth grade dance. Even if I wanted to go, who would I ask out?”

            Katie’s nimble hands froze mid weave of tying her shoes right away and her arms swung down to her sides. “Yeah, who could you ask out anyway?” Katie shot up from the porch and grabbed her helmet and pads and jumped on her bike before I could get a word out. She yelled as she biked away, “Hey I got to get home; I’ll see you in fourth period tomorrow.” I saw Katie bike down the block to her house, throw her bike on the lawn, and run into her house.

            “Katie, that was back in eighth grade. If you really wanted to ask me out why didn’t you just say it more directly?”

            Katie’s head snapped towards me and it looked like she was trying to kill me with her glare. “You know how hard it was for me to even ask you out? I cried so much that night that I thought I was going to have to call out sick the next day because I couldn’t face you. That was one of the worst weeks of my life. Better yet, you actually knew I was asking you out and just ignored the chance?”

Katie was yelling and I really couldn’t blame her. All I could really say was, “I had an idea that you were asking me out but I was an eighth grade boy, and worried about losing you back then.”

Katie’s eyes softened for a moment but then were back to glaring curses at me. “Don’t give me that cheesy line, that’s cheating. Besides, you are a man right? Or am I wrong about that?” Katie actually broke one hand free and grabbed down at my groan, though by how wide her eyes got I think she wasn’t actually expecting to feel anything through the thick pants and was only grabbing me there for dramatic effect.

“Why are you like that?” she yelled, “God get off of me you pervert!”

            “Well you threw yourself at me; mounted me, threw your shirt off, and had that weak look on your face to top it off. How do you expect me not to react to any of this? Also, didn’t you just say you love me?”

            Katie’s eyes shut down and it looked like she had just realized that she had actually ripped her shirt off. “Yeah I do…but what does that have to do with this?”

            “Well, that means you take me for both the good and bad. I can’t really say this is all that bad though, is it? I mean, at least you know I am attracted to you.”

            Katie looked down, and I swear she was nearly going to cry. I didn’t want her to cry and was about to say something, but she said, “I guess its fine, but I’m not ready for that. Especially not out in the woods in the fuc-the damn cold. My ass is numb as it is from being held down here so long!” I had nearly forgotten that Katie was only wearing nylon stockings and must be freezing by now. I picked her hips up and brought them up onto my thighs. Katie looked like I had grown five heads right in front of her and started screaming, “Don’t grab my ass you pervert! God, pick me up at least!” I leaned down to pick her up as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She was still giving a small pouting face as I pulled her up and against my chest. I thought she would freak out by me pulling her so close to me, but instead she pulled against me harder only mumbling “fuck you” into my chest.